Let’s ban all children from dictionaries

No doubt the state of Florida has it right

To protect young minds from words like “fairies;”

Who knows what end such enquiries

May find for an impressionable mind

Like the time in grade three with criminal

Intent, we searched Webster’s for a minimal 

Syllable, my friend and I, the light

To a fuse of indignation, a fight

With the teacher over the short noun

Fart, that satisfying percussive sound 

Agreeing,  in both word and deed,  

And that precisely pithy definition, 

“A small explosion between the legs”

That set us rolling on classroom floor

And got us kicked laughing right out the door

Outcasts, we sat cackling awaiting the doom,

Thirty minutes after school scrawling

What I can’t remember, over and over

On the chalkboard, small price to pay

For the word she told us not to say.